You can’t understand until you’re a Mother. You’ll understand when you’re a Mother. Until you’re a mother, you won’t understand.

Ever since my first few friends or similarly aged family members had their first children, I’ve been hearing the above. In the beginning, I was just all, yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Sure, the comments are a wee bit annoying for a non-Mom to hear, but when you aren’t looking to have a kid anytime soon, you can easily suffer through them.

It’s a different story when your dealing with infertility. Or even if you’ve made a decision not to have kids. Some statements can be true. They can be the most true things you’ve ever heard. You can hear them and know they ring with truth. But it doesn’t make them easy to hear or even okay things for someone to say.

Expecting Max is the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. But it doesn’t erase all the hurt, all the memories of three plus years of infertility. Even the “you’ll know soon enough” comments are hard. Because you know what, if it hadn’t been for those three years of heartache, I’d know now. I don’t mean to say that I’m not very lucky. I am. And I don’t mean to say that I still hurt the same way women still struggling with infertility hurt. I don’t. But I do know how they are hurting, I remember it. I was there. And I’m going to try to keep on remembering so that I don’t hurt someone with my words.