Would You Like Some Cheese

I haven’t posted in a few days because I’ve been debating whether it’s better to not post at all, or to write something filled with whining and annoying self pity. I finally decided to just go ahead and publish the pity post, because maybe it would make me feel a tiny bit better.

For the first 10 or so weeks of this pregnancy, I was tired all the time, had some food aversions and had some constant general queasiness. Round about week 12, I started to have a little bit more energy. Because I was approaching my second trimester, I thought this was the beginning of the end of feeling bad – that my energy would come back and the queasiness would go away. Well, I do feel a bit less tired, but the morning sickness has gotten worse. I’ve started actually puking, and when I’m not puking, I feel like I’m going to puke.

Today, in addition to the horrible nausea, I have a headache. I took a Tylenol and it went away for about an hour and a half, but now it’s back. Headaches are particularly hard right now because all the hormones running through me reactivated my TMJ and headaches now involve both an aching head and an aching jaw. Fortunately, I was fitted for a mouth guard a couple of years ago and have been wearing it regularly which seems to help a bit with the TMJ.

I know that I’m very lucky to be pregnant, to have this opportunity, and I know that I used to be jealous of people with morning sickness, but that just makes the situation worse, like of all people, I should be grateful and not complain. I figured J was the one person I could complain to, that he would just listen to me and agree about how awful it must be to be me. Instead I get comments like, “You’re the one that wanted the baby.” Oh my God, how infuriating he can be! I know this analogy is a stretch, but it makes me envision going skiing, and breaking my neck, and then complaining to J that I can’t move any of my limbs and him saying, “You’re the one that wanted to go skiing.” Because that is totally something he would say.