The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

I know that too much web searching can be a bad thing, but I’m also all for being as informed as possible. The question becomes, where does a person draw the line? A few years ago, I had some abdominal pain. It turned out to be referred pain from a herniated disc which was made much better through physical therapy, but after web searching my symptoms, I was convinced I was dying of cervical cancer. Lately, I’ve been drawing the line at cancer.

On Thursday afternoon, I realized that for the last two days I had had an increase in vaginal discharge. (I know, you should really get a warning before words like “vaginal” and “discharge” are thrown out, especially when they are used together. My apologies.) Of course, I did a Google search on “increased vaginal discharge” and a litany of horrors was revealed, the scariest for me was a possible amniotic fluid leak. Nearly everything I read said that an increase was cause to telephone your doctor. So I telephoned my doctor.

Nurse Arlene called me back at the very end of the day and she was about as warm and comforting as a cactus. The end result of our conversation was that there were no doctors in the office and I should go to the hospital emergency room to make certain I wasn’t leaking amniotic fluid.

Hospital emergency rooms are not fun places, especially when everyone in them looks like they are knocking on death’s door, so much so that you are afraid to pick up a magazine because you really don’t know who might have touched that magazine. And it certainly doesn’t help one’s nerves when the television is turned to some sort of scary ass movie about someone being murdered in a swimming pool, aliens and tracking devices. What about some Golden Girls, or Wheel of Fortune?

I checked into emergency at about 5 p.m. and left just before 10:30 p.m. with no real answers. They did a pelvic exam, swabbed me six ways from Sunday, and even catheterized me and took a urine sample. Ow ow ow ow! I had no discernable infections, my cervix appeared closed, and a Nitrazine Test was negative for amniotic fluid. (A Nitrazine Test involves collecting vaginal discharge with a swab and placing it on a peace of litmus paper to check the Ph. Typical discharge is acidic, whereas amniotic fluid is alkaline.) I was discharged from emergency and told to follow up with my obstetrician in 1-2 days.

I left emergency still very concerned and, as instructed, contacted my doctor’s office the next day. Again, Nurse Arlene returned my call and was just as prickly and condescending as ever. She arranged for me to see one of the doctors on Monday (today) and instructed me to spend the weekend off my feet. For me, this translated into laying on my couch sobbing. Sorry J.

I don’t know what it’s like to lose a baby, and I hope I never do, but I now know what it’s like to think you’re going to lose your baby and it is not a good thing. No amount of assurance helps. You worry. A lot. There is no way not to worry, well, getting pissed off Ed Hochuli for being an incompetent ass does take your mind off of things a bit.

(Here I will quickly note how one can skew web search results, because after this weekend, I have a lot of experience with it. If you search “increased vaginal discharge” and “cramping,” there are some rather reassuring entries that talk about these symptoms being a normal part of pregnancy. If you search “amniotic fluid leak,” “increased discharge,” and “cramping,” you’ll come across some very sad and disconcerting stories.)

I am very happy to report that my worrying was needless. I saw a doctor today who performed a Fern Test, a pelvic exam, and an ultrasound and there is no reason to believe I’ve had a rupture. (A Fern Test involves smearing the discharge on a slide and viewing it through a microscope. If amniotic fluid is present, it will crystallize into a fern pattern.) Not only were there no indications of a leak, my cervix is looking nice and long. I know, I know, I really should give you some warning.

Here’s a picture of Frax from today – still the cutest fetus ever!