Reinstituting the Chicken Ban

I spent last night learning how to make tamales with my good friend, Amy. Hi Amy! Amy is showing off her husks in the picture to the right.

We both had a wonderful time making crab tamales, pork tamales, sweet potato tamales, chicken chile verde tamales, and my absolute favorite, pineapple and macadamia nut tamales (with whip cream). Yum yum. We have plans in the works for a tamale making party soon so if you are lucky enough to be a local friend, you may be in for some tamale treats in the near future.

In addition to making one of each type of tamale--which wasn’t nearly has hard as I had expected, time consuming, yes, hard, no--we also got to eat one of each tamale. I’ve spoken already about my chicken and barbecue sauce pregnancy aversions. I should expand on the barbecue sauce aversion and say it’s really an aversion to anything with cumin in it, including chili powder. Blechity blech. Despite my “ban,” I had a few bites of the chicken verde tamale and a small nibble of the pork tamale which was seasoned with chili powder.

I’ve done a little bit of reading about morning sickness (aka pregnancy sickness) and there are still at least two competing theories as to the cause. One theory is that morning sickness is simply your body reacting to the increased levels of hormones in your system. Another theory is that it’s your body keeping toxins and, well, less friendly foods, perhaps foods harder to digest, out of your system. I had always been more of a believer in the hormone level argument, but after the horrible stomach ache I had last night when I went to bed, I’m starting to think that chicken and chili powder are evil evil toxins that should never ever be consumed and I have reinstituted the previous ban.

The Other J

I often write about the funny things my husband, J, will say. I do this because I want to share it, but also because I want to remember it. Like the Ass Sucker conversation (I’ve added the Ass Sucker blog entry below as it originally appeared on my MySpace page). But today, I have to write about something my friend Amy’s husband said. He is also a J.

Amy and I both like to cook. At least I liked to cook before I got pregnant and started hating the smell of a lot of foods including chicken and barbecue sauce. Just before I found out I was pregnant, Amy called and asked if I wanted to attend a class on tamale making at Great News, a local kitchen retailer and cooking school. Tonight is the class and I'll try to get some pictures (with my cell phone, ha ha) and maybe some recipes for tomorrow.

At dinner the other night, Amy shared the other J’s reaction to her taking the class. She told us that there is a tamale stand near her parents' house and she and the other J often stop and purchase tamales. Apparently, you don’t even have to get out of your car, you can simply wave the tamale man over and he will bring the tamales to you.

Although I’ve never made a tamale, I know the basic concept and admit it seems fairly complicated, what with the making of the masa part and the making of the filling part and the wrapping in the corn husk and the tying and the steaming. The other J astutely noted that all we were likely to learn tonight is that a $1.50 is a damn good price for tamale.

The Ass Sucker (September 24, 2007)

J and I spent this last weekend at a small cabin in Julian which allowed us to bring our dogs. The cabin sits on about two acres of fenced property so we had a wonderful time playing and exploring with the pooches.

When we climbed into bed late Saturday night, it was quite cold. In an effort to get warm, J and I found ourselves in an unusual position with one of his hands on my head and the other on my hip. The hand on my head reminded me of an old childhood joke so I asked, "Is that a brain sucker and is it starving?" To which J responded, "Yes, but the ass sucker is doing well."

Maybe it IS me? Maybe I AM Type A?

I'm just now starting to realize how nervous I come off as in person. Like I know I'm a nervous person, I know I'm shy, but I thought my smile was a good disguise? I thought I played it off well? Maybe it's the nervous giggle?

I had a doctors appointment today with the OB. The doctor did another ultrasound and Baby A and my cervix, in case you were wondering, are both looking good. The appointment ended with the doctor asking when I was comfortable doing a follow up. I didn't actually expect them to follow up for many more weeks. I mean, I've already had four ultrasounds and it's only been about nine weeks. I realize that's bordering excessive.

I told him I would do whatever he recommended. He said three would be good, that he'd even be comfortable with four weeks, but because of who I am I'd probably be better off only waiting three weeks. What the heck? Really, I'm not that nervous about the pregnancy. I'm doing okay. I tried to tell him I'd been handling it fine so far. I don't think he believed me.

Am I the only one singing this song now?

Why I Can't Take Him Anywhere

Nurse: Did this pregnancy come about through fertility treatment?

Me: Yes, an IUI with Clomid and Progesterone.

Nurse: So no IVF?

Me: No.

Nurse: And it was your own eggs and sperm.

J: Presumably.

Update - Just One Baby

I had my third ultrasound today and, unfortunately, Baby B has passed away. At the last ultrasound, he measured 6 weeks and 1 day. Today, he measured just 6 weeks and 2 days so it appears he passed away the very next day. Baby A looks very good though. He is measuring 8 weeks and 2 days and as it has been 8 weeks and 2 days since my last menstrual cycle, that is perfect. He also had a good heartbeat. I'm calling them both hes, but I really don't have a feeling one way or the other.

Pic of Baby A:

Because Baby B is still present and hasn't degenerated, there is a slight chance he could affect the well-being of Baby A. As such, I'm still classified as a high-risk pregnancy and will still be seeing the specialist. He works with women having singletons, as well, so if I like him, I can have him as my doctor throughout the pregnancy. The nurse practitioner that did the exam today was extremely nice and she spoke highly of him.

I was not overwhelmed with sadness when I learned Baby B had passed. I knew it was a possibility and am still very happy and grateful that Baby A is doing well. Although I am a bit ashamed to admit it, I felt a moment of relief because no matter what it would have been a lot harder to care for two newborns at the same time. J is a bit sadder than I am. He was looking forward to having two that could grow up together and keep each other entertained.

I thought it would be nice to include a poem or meaningful quote in this entry, but I couldn't find anything online that I loved and really spoke to me. I was a Creative Writing major in college and so I jotted down a quick poem of my own.

Pic of Baby B:I like to think you would have had
A contagious, glowing smile,
Known there were times for somberness,
But found laughter more your style.

I imagine you’d have outwitted me
On more than one occasion,
And I’d have bragged to everyone
Of your talents most amazing.

And though I’ll never hold you, dear,
I can still feel you in my arms,
And dream of your accomplishments,
Your beauty and your charms.

I know somewhere your spirit lives,
I like to think you're near,
And that my dreams and whispered love
Are something that you hear.

Because I Couldn't Say It On the Phone

Nurse Arlene, you're a bitch.

On Saturday, I was laying on my couch reading, twisted my torso to move from my back to my side, and I got a sharp shooting pain on my left side toward the bottom of my rib cage. The sharp pain went away, but now it comes back, fleetingly, if I twist a certain way, or bend over or sit up without supporting my stomach. I also have a very slight dull ache in my side from all the repeated sharp shooting pains. I did a google search and spoke to some friends and similar side pain seems to be common in pregnant women.

Today, just wanting to be certain I wasn't ignoring something serious, I called my doctor's office and left a message for a nurse to call me back. When I explained the problem, the nurse insisted there was no way it was related to my pregnancy. I've never hurt myself so easily before or in this particular place on my body so I find that hard to believe but ok.

She then asked if I exercise. I told her I walk, but I wouldn't call it exercise. She suggested this must have happened exercising. I again explained that I knew how it happened and I did it sitting up. And this is where her response goes way off the offensive charts. This idiot had the nerve to say to me, "Yes, you probably pulled something. I can tell you are a Type A personality and you probably sat up too fast."

Believe me when I say I am NOT a Type A personality. I may get a little anxious and stressed out now and again, but I am the furthest thing from Type A. I called J to tell him about the conversation and he outright laughed when I got to this part. He then offered Type L for lazy as a more fitting personality type.

Stupid Email Forwards

I have recently started receiving from an email contact every "Jesus" email message ever created. The latest is an "authentic, UN-touched" picture of an American flag and the way the light shines through it there is a glowing image of a cross where the stars appear. Isn't that amazing! Personally, I found the image of the Virgin Mary in the grilled cheese a little bit more moving, because, come on, it's the image of the Virgin Mary AND it's a tasty grilled cheese sandwich.

I find the picture offensive. I know it seems silly, but the concept of freedom from a government imposed religion is one of tenants upon which our government is based. This is the "land of the free," not the land of the Christians. Anyway, I'm so sick of the lack of religious tolerance I'm seeing from people, or at least what I'm perceiving. Go ahead and be a Christian cheerleader, but please remember there are people with as much reason as you to believe in a different set of spiritual realities. And they are Americans, too. And the flag isn't a symbol of Christianity. It's a symbol of a country. A country made up of many different people of many different religions.

Rant over.

Beautiful Blobs

I should start by saying that Baby A looks just right. Good size, good heartbeat, just a beautiful little blob of cells. Baby B is also beautiful, and Baby B also has a heartbeat, however, Baby B's heartbeat is slower than Baby A's heartbeat, and Baby B is also a wee bit smaller than Baby A. Unfortunately, the doppler would not turn on so I do not know the exact heart rates.

I specifically asked the two doctors doing the u/s what in their experience this meant and they couldn't say. It could go either way. I researched it online a bit this morning and found many message board posts on the subject. Some posters with similar u/s results went on to have good twin pregnancies, other went on to have good singleton pregnancies. If I lose Baby B, then I may absorb Baby B, or I may bleed out, both of which can occur with no ill effect to Baby A. I'm basically in the same waiting place as I was before.

I've been released to an ob/gyn. I was originally going to go with my regular family practice and went as far as to schedule an appointment, but something in my gut told me to find a new office. I decided to trust that feeling, called a different office, and already I feel so much better.

The woman I spoke to scheduled a "New OB Consult" for the 25th with a nurse, and they will do an u/s. If there are still two, then I will keep the other appointment I have the following Tuesday with a doctor there that specializes in twins.

I will let you know more on June 25. "Think good babies thoughts!"

7 week u/s: Picture 1 is Baby B, Picture 2 is Baby A

Splitting My Intelligence Quotient Three Ways?

For the most part, I've kept my wits about me this pregnancy and am not quite as ditsy or absentminded as one might have thought I would be, considering I can be fairly ditsy and absentminded sans fetus(es).

I have had a few moments, though, when my mind hasn't performed quite up to snuff. Take for instance yesterday afternoon, when I was at Barnes and Noble with J looking for some light reading. I decided to quickly peruse the expectant mother section but had difficulty finding it. From a few yards away, I saw the "Nursing" section and wondered how they could have two entire bookshelves devoted to nursing your baby and none to pregnancy. Uh, yeah, that would be a section for nurses and not breast feeding mothers. When I found the right section, I didn't actually buy a book. I may buy one later, but, for now, I figure almost all the (mis)information I need is available free on the internet.

I have another ultrasound tomorrow and am very anxious to know if we will see one heartbeat or two. I have, of course, done some internet research and "vanishing twin syndrome" is not uncommon. This is where I would absorb one of the fetuses, but the other fetus would continue on normally. I'd prefer not to absorb one of my babies, and though I would be a little sad if we see only one heartbeat tomorrow, I would also be very happy to see at least one heartbeat.

Priorities

After showering and getting ready for work, I went downstairs where I saw J for the first time this morning and announced to him I'd had some unpleasant dreams. He exclaimed that he too had had an unpleasant dream.

One of my dreams involved being given ultrasounds by my friends who cut large slits into my stomach and inserted the wand into the slits, and thereafter trying to ascertain whether the copious amount of blood covering me was from the gashes in my stomach or from my lady parts. The other dream involved directly injecting Pepto Bismal into my veins and getting a call from my doctor's office saying my hCG levels had gone down to 80.

J's dream involved going to a massage parlor. J used to get a massage once a month until his regular masseuse relocated recently. Poor J.

Uhhhh ...

Well, it's two. Ack!

There were definitely two gestational sacs and two fetal poles, but at this point there is only one for sure visible heartbeat. Baby 1 had a very strong heartbeat which I was able to easily see, but I didn't get to see a heartbeat for Baby 2. For someone that really only wanted one, I'm really worrying about Baby 2.

At one point, they thought they maybe might be seeing a heartbeat, but they couldn't tell for sure. J was there, and he also thought he may have seen a heartbeat. The doctor did say she could "imagine" a heartbeat for whatever that is worth. I go back in a week for a second ultrasound. And I thought waiting for the first ultrasound was hard!

Here are the ultrasounds pictures:The first picture is Baby 2 for whom they couldn't yet see the heartbeat. You can just barely make out the fetal pole toward the bottom right of the gestational sac (i.e., black circle, ha). The second is Baby 1 with the very strong heartbeat. That one they measured so you can see the little measurement marks.

I've been asking for "happy baby thoughts," but this week I need some "happy babIES thoughts"!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

A very very Happy Birthday to my friend, Kristin!

No, really, I promise I didn't forget about you.

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not an overly religious person, well, not religious at all. For many years, I would announce I'm atheist, because it seemed cooler, like I'd made up my mind and that was that. But I'm secure enough with myself these days to admit I'm really agnostic, a position much easier to reconcile with my belief in, bordering fear of, Karma. I'm capitalizing her name these days out of respect.

Other than a few cramps and the overwhelming exhaustion, exhaustion that makes it difficult to get out of bed after 10 hours of sleep, exhaustion that makes it take 20 minutes to traverse the 50 yards from my car to the store front, I've had very few overt pregnancy symptoms. Yesterday, I read online about a friend's pregnancy nausea. Hi Gene! This friend conceived at almost the exact same time I did. Having recently read that 90% of women who experience morning sickness carry to term, I couldn't help but worry that I had yet to experience it. I should have known better. Karma must have been checking in on me at that exact moment, because last night it hit and it's still going strong 12 hours later.

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound and of course what I'm hoping for most is that everything looks perfect, that everyone involved is healthy and progressing normally. But of course the answer to "How many?" is right up there, too. Think "happy baby thoughts"!

Prisoner's Dilemma

J and I have been doing a lot of talking lately about what if it is twins. For a few days, J was ecstatic about the idea. This is because he has never in his life, for even the briefest of moments, cared for an infant. Not having my own children, I may not completely understand, but I have a niece and nephew and enough friends with kids that I can somewhat comprehend the challenges we might face caring for two newborns at the same time. After many discussions, J as come to agree that twins would not be a bad thing, but would be less good.

Still, we have begun referring to "the babies." Probably not karmically the best idea. Today J was adamant that the babies not be allowed to read any books on game theory. As an English major, my reaction was, "What the hell are you talking about?" So he explained.

Were they to read a book on game theory, they would learn of the prisoner's dilemma and that would foil all of his parenting plans. You see, we can tell them that whomever eats their peas will get more love that day, and so each will eat their peas. But if they were to study the prisoner's dilemma, they would learn that the best strategy would be for them both to refuse to eat their peas.

I don't know if I am having one or two, but I am certain I am having nerd(s).