Friday, November 21, 2008
How To Make Your Husband "Uninterested" in You
Tell him you sent a picture of yourself to his Mom so she could see your pregnancy belly, and that she wrote back and wants to know if he can see how much you resemble his sister in the picture.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
When Your Parents' Dog and Your Fetus Have the Same Name
Poor puppy Max bit into an electrical wire yesterday, was electrocuted, suffered pulmonary edema and almost died. Fortunately, he pulled through after 24 hours at the vet hospital on oxygen. We found out this morning that he's doing much better. He's home now and seems to be doing ok.
Last night, I called J at work close to tears and said, "Max might die." Needless to say, J was a bit freaked out. Poor J.
Last night, I called J at work close to tears and said, "Max might die." Needless to say, J was a bit freaked out. Poor J.
Friday, November 07, 2008
He looks perfect and let me tell you why ...
I had a routine appointment with my obstetrician on Tuesday. He did a quick ultrasound and there is still a baby inside me. Yay! While I am feeling Max move at this point, it’s not with any regularity and, as a new time mom-to-be, I start questioning whether what I’m feeling is really movement. It was nice to see a heartbeat on the monitor.
Rain in San Diego is, sadly, very rare. While I love the rainy weather, I have to admit it wreaks havoc on the streets and freeways here. I was about 5 minutes late for my appointment. My doctor was about 40 minutes late. When he walked into the exam room, he immediately apologized and explained he’d been busy counting the white dots he was slowly driving by on the freeway. When he said this, I blurted out, “Oh, on the 56!” He looked at little perplexed at how I might know that, but admitted that yes it was the 56. To which I mumbled something about how I sit in the 56 traffic every day, it’s always bad. Which IS true.
But, ok, how did I know he meant the 56? Uhh, well, that’s because I looked up his medical license with the state medical board and he listed it under his home address. Come on, you can’t fight that kind of temptation. Of course I Google Mapped it and looked at the aerial photos of his house. Admit it, you would have done the same thing. Everyone wants to know just how grand a style their doctor lives in.
Despite being 40 minutes late with 28 appointments that day, and probably thinking I was a stalker, my doctor very kindly spent some time pointing out different things on the ultrasound monitor and telling me everything looked perfect and why he knew everything looked perfect. Something about the heart and the chamber and the fluid around it and the amniotic fluid. Sorry for the hazy science details, but when you’re looking at your baby, and wondering if your doctor is going to change his locks that night, it’s hard to concentrate on much else.
Rain in San Diego is, sadly, very rare. While I love the rainy weather, I have to admit it wreaks havoc on the streets and freeways here. I was about 5 minutes late for my appointment. My doctor was about 40 minutes late. When he walked into the exam room, he immediately apologized and explained he’d been busy counting the white dots he was slowly driving by on the freeway. When he said this, I blurted out, “Oh, on the 56!” He looked at little perplexed at how I might know that, but admitted that yes it was the 56. To which I mumbled something about how I sit in the 56 traffic every day, it’s always bad. Which IS true.
But, ok, how did I know he meant the 56? Uhh, well, that’s because I looked up his medical license with the state medical board and he listed it under his home address. Come on, you can’t fight that kind of temptation. Of course I Google Mapped it and looked at the aerial photos of his house. Admit it, you would have done the same thing. Everyone wants to know just how grand a style their doctor lives in.
Despite being 40 minutes late with 28 appointments that day, and probably thinking I was a stalker, my doctor very kindly spent some time pointing out different things on the ultrasound monitor and telling me everything looked perfect and why he knew everything looked perfect. Something about the heart and the chamber and the fluid around it and the amniotic fluid. Sorry for the hazy science details, but when you’re looking at your baby, and wondering if your doctor is going to change his locks that night, it’s hard to concentrate on much else.
Monday, November 03, 2008
They Really Do Laugh at You
When I was in high school, I would sometimes wonder if teachers would talk about students outside of class, if they would share gossip and humiliating stories. Back then, I gave my teachers almost priest like characteristics. Surely it was all kept in confidence. WRONG! They are talking about you (or they did), most of the time with much laughter!
I spent an enjoyable afternoon yesterday at my friend Amy's house and after the kid birthday party fun had died down, a few of us adults, some high school teachers, sat around talking about the upcoming election. We expectedly got onto the topic of Prop 8, but then somehow wandered our way around to high school sex education classes and some of the funnier sexual queries of the high school Sophomore. One thing no one in the room seemed to know any better than these students was the nutritional content of semen.
As I said I would, I did a bit of research this afternoon on the topic. There are a few contradicting answers out there. One site says a tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories, another that a teaspoon of has 5-7 calories. The general consensus is that the caloric value is very low, with next to no fat. As to the Weight Watcher point value, I'd advise one to consider it 0 points, unless copious amounts are being consumed. There are those hard core Weight Watchers, however, that believe that no non-vegetable food is 0 points. In which case, I would recommend journaling it as .5 points.
I spent an enjoyable afternoon yesterday at my friend Amy's house and after the kid birthday party fun had died down, a few of us adults, some high school teachers, sat around talking about the upcoming election. We expectedly got onto the topic of Prop 8, but then somehow wandered our way around to high school sex education classes and some of the funnier sexual queries of the high school Sophomore. One thing no one in the room seemed to know any better than these students was the nutritional content of semen.
As I said I would, I did a bit of research this afternoon on the topic. There are a few contradicting answers out there. One site says a tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories, another that a teaspoon of has 5-7 calories. The general consensus is that the caloric value is very low, with next to no fat. As to the Weight Watcher point value, I'd advise one to consider it 0 points, unless copious amounts are being consumed. There are those hard core Weight Watchers, however, that believe that no non-vegetable food is 0 points. In which case, I would recommend journaling it as .5 points.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Jon Hamm's John Ham - Finally, ham you can eat in the bathroom.
It's probably a good thing that I'm having a boy. When he's 12, we'll have the same sense of humor.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height? Yeah, but only a little!
I haven’t updated this blog for awhile because there isn’t much exciting going on. With regard to Max, I spoke to the nurse today, after a short game of telephone tag, regarding the Maternal Serum Alpha-Fetoprotein Test (aka AFP) (which mainly tests for neural tube defects). The test results were negative which is great.
I posted a few weeks ago a scanned copy of an ultra sound photo from the Anatomy Scan Ultrasound. In general, the scan went well. They did locate what is known as a soft marker for Downs Syndrome. This does not mean that Max has Downs, and it probably means nothing at all, but one of the things they look for during the scan to diagnose Downs is the length of the femur. Max’s femur length is running a wee bit small. It only increases the chances of Downs from 1 in 6500 per the Nuchal Fold Screen, to 1 in 4500, and as neither J nor I could ever claim to be tall, and J actually has incredibly short legs, we are betting on it just being genetics.
An Amniocentesis would give a very accurate diagnoses one way or the other, however, the risk of miscarriage after an amnio is 1 in 400. Because the odds of Max having Downs are currently at 1 in 4500, they would lose 10 healthy babies performing an amnio to find one with Downs. Woah, I know, way too much math.
Of course, I’d have preferred them to have found nothing out of the ordinary with the scan, but we are staying positive. As J said, I do come from a long line of Irish leprechauns.
I posted a few weeks ago a scanned copy of an ultra sound photo from the Anatomy Scan Ultrasound. In general, the scan went well. They did locate what is known as a soft marker for Downs Syndrome. This does not mean that Max has Downs, and it probably means nothing at all, but one of the things they look for during the scan to diagnose Downs is the length of the femur. Max’s femur length is running a wee bit small. It only increases the chances of Downs from 1 in 6500 per the Nuchal Fold Screen, to 1 in 4500, and as neither J nor I could ever claim to be tall, and J actually has incredibly short legs, we are betting on it just being genetics.
An Amniocentesis would give a very accurate diagnoses one way or the other, however, the risk of miscarriage after an amnio is 1 in 400. Because the odds of Max having Downs are currently at 1 in 4500, they would lose 10 healthy babies performing an amnio to find one with Downs. Woah, I know, way too much math.
Of course, I’d have preferred them to have found nothing out of the ordinary with the scan, but we are staying positive. As J said, I do come from a long line of Irish leprechauns.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Honesty.
Me: Sometimes I get sad when people talk abut their twin pregnancies.
J: Sometimes I get sad when people talk.
J: Sometimes I get sad when people talk.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Woolworth's hamburgers are people!
Me: I had a dream last night that I went to a Woolworth's cafe with my sister. A guy told us the hamburgers were really good and the secret was they used unwanted dogs to make them, that they would get dogs from the pound or people that didn't want them anymore. So then my sister went out to our car and got Wolfie, because she wanted them to make a burger out of him. And I had to fight her, because I didn't want them to kill Wolfie.
J: That's funny, I also had a dream last night about the Woolworth's cafe, but they made their hamburgers out of unwanted people, so I went outside and got your sister.
J: That's funny, I also had a dream last night about the Woolworth's cafe, but they made their hamburgers out of unwanted people, so I went outside and got your sister.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Baby's Sex?
I have an appointment this Thursday for an anatomy scan ultra sound. In addition to learning the baby has the correct number of toes, I'm also hoping to learn the sex. I've started a poll to the left of my blog. If you have a feeling one way or the other, please cast your vote. My friend, C, has been insisting for several weeks now that it's a girl, and she does appear to have "the gift," but don't let that sway you.
I was tempted to give a third voting option, something to do with extra terrestrial genitalia, but I know my friends too well. Don't I?
I was tempted to give a third voting option, something to do with extra terrestrial genitalia, but I know my friends too well. Don't I?
Oh, Mohinder, what have you gone and done now? (Poss. Spoilers)
One of the shows J and I both watch is Heroes. The other night, the character Suresh injected himself with the special "you too can be a hero" formula he had discovered. After injecting himself, he had some crazy seizures that contorted his body and then he fell to the ground. I turned to J and said, "Uh oh, he's gone and injected himself. What do you think his power will be?" J responded, "Weren't you watching? He now has the power of dance."
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Whippersnappers
While perusing the Blu-Ray DVDs the other day, I got into a conversation with a Costco employee over the battle between Blue-Ray and HD DVD, at one point commenting, “You’re probably too young to remember Betamax and VHS” (referring to the early 80s battle between the two video tape formats). She resoundingly responded, “I remember VHS!”
Of course, she had no idea to what Betamax referred. I gave a brief recount of the technology and, when she announced she was 20, I told her that explained why she wasn’t familiar with it. Then she asked, in almost an accusatory fashion, “Why, how old are you?”
I wish I could do justice in describing the look of alarm that crossed her face when I told her I was 34. I was so taken aback that I felt the need to assure her that that really wasn’t that old. I knew I should be pleased at her disbelief that someone so young looking could be in her mid thirties, but it was hard to get over her horrified gasp.
I felt old again a few days later when I was shopping in the Nordstrom shoe section and heard the shitiest cover ever of, 'Boys Don't Cry." It made me sad to think there is some teenager out there downloading that crappy cover and wondering who the heck The Cure is.
Of course, she had no idea to what Betamax referred. I gave a brief recount of the technology and, when she announced she was 20, I told her that explained why she wasn’t familiar with it. Then she asked, in almost an accusatory fashion, “Why, how old are you?”
I wish I could do justice in describing the look of alarm that crossed her face when I told her I was 34. I was so taken aback that I felt the need to assure her that that really wasn’t that old. I knew I should be pleased at her disbelief that someone so young looking could be in her mid thirties, but it was hard to get over her horrified gasp.
I felt old again a few days later when I was shopping in the Nordstrom shoe section and heard the shitiest cover ever of, 'Boys Don't Cry." It made me sad to think there is some teenager out there downloading that crappy cover and wondering who the heck The Cure is.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Always for the Dogs!
I volunteer with Southern California Keeshond Rescue. All three of my dogs are Keeshonden mixes, and Wolfie and Karl were adoptees/referrals from this rescue group. The group is currently entered into a contest with other shelters and rescues sponsored by Care2 to win a prize of $10,000. Voting does require entering an email address and zip code, but if you feel inclined to vote for us, please do so!
Wolfie also says please! (And go Chargers!)
Wolfie also says please! (And go Chargers!)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Butterfly Kisses
In the interest of documentation ... I JUST FELT MY BABY FOR THE FIRST TIME!
I had, of course, read that the first feelings are a sort of a fluttering, or like popcorn popping. But since I've never popped popcorn in my uterus before, I really had no idea what to expect. I was just sitting at my desk working when I felt something in my abdomen on my left side, like someone giving me butterfly kisses from the inside. I had to stop for a second and concentrate to make sure it wasn't just a vibration from the jack hammering that is going on outside my office window.
When I realized what it was, I had the exact same feeling I had when I first saw the positive on the pregnancy test. **Happy sigh.**
I had, of course, read that the first feelings are a sort of a fluttering, or like popcorn popping. But since I've never popped popcorn in my uterus before, I really had no idea what to expect. I was just sitting at my desk working when I felt something in my abdomen on my left side, like someone giving me butterfly kisses from the inside. I had to stop for a second and concentrate to make sure it wasn't just a vibration from the jack hammering that is going on outside my office window.
When I realized what it was, I had the exact same feeling I had when I first saw the positive on the pregnancy test. **Happy sigh.**
Monday, September 15, 2008
The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
I know that too much web searching can be a bad thing, but I’m also all for being as informed as possible. The question becomes, where does a person draw the line? A few years ago, I had some abdominal pain. It turned out to be referred pain from a herniated disc which was made much better through physical therapy, but after web searching my symptoms, I was convinced I was dying of cervical cancer. Lately, I’ve been drawing the line at cancer.
On Thursday afternoon, I realized that for the last two days I had had an increase in vaginal discharge. (I know, you should really get a warning before words like “vaginal” and “discharge” are thrown out, especially when they are used together. My apologies.) Of course, I did a Google search on “increased vaginal discharge” and a litany of horrors was revealed, the scariest for me was a possible amniotic fluid leak. Nearly everything I read said that an increase was cause to telephone your doctor. So I telephoned my doctor.
Nurse Arlene called me back at the very end of the day and she was about as warm and comforting as a cactus. The end result of our conversation was that there were no doctors in the office and I should go to the hospital emergency room to make certain I wasn’t leaking amniotic fluid.
Hospital emergency rooms are not fun places, especially when everyone in them looks like they are knocking on death’s door, so much so that you are afraid to pick up a magazine because you really don’t know who might have touched that magazine. And it certainly doesn’t help one’s nerves when the television is turned to some sort of scary ass movie about someone being murdered in a swimming pool, aliens and tracking devices. What about some Golden Girls, or Wheel of Fortune?
I checked into emergency at about 5 p.m. and left just before 10:30 p.m. with no real answers. They did a pelvic exam, swabbed me six ways from Sunday, and even catheterized me and took a urine sample. Ow ow ow ow! I had no discernable infections, my cervix appeared closed, and a Nitrazine Test was negative for amniotic fluid. (A Nitrazine Test involves collecting vaginal discharge with a swab and placing it on a peace of litmus paper to check the Ph. Typical discharge is acidic, whereas amniotic fluid is alkaline.) I was discharged from emergency and told to follow up with my obstetrician in 1-2 days.
I left emergency still very concerned and, as instructed, contacted my doctor’s office the next day. Again, Nurse Arlene returned my call and was just as prickly and condescending as ever. She arranged for me to see one of the doctors on Monday (today) and instructed me to spend the weekend off my feet. For me, this translated into laying on my couch sobbing. Sorry J.
I don’t know what it’s like to lose a baby, and I hope I never do, but I now know what it’s like to think you’re going to lose your baby and it is not a good thing. No amount of assurance helps. You worry. A lot. There is no way not to worry, well, getting pissed off Ed Hochuli for being an incompetent ass does take your mind off of things a bit.
(Here I will quickly note how one can skew web search results, because after this weekend, I have a lot of experience with it. If you search “increased vaginal discharge” and “cramping,” there are some rather reassuring entries that talk about these symptoms being a normal part of pregnancy. If you search “amniotic fluid leak,” “increased discharge,” and “cramping,” you’ll come across some very sad and disconcerting stories.)
I am very happy to report that my worrying was needless. I saw a doctor today who performed a Fern Test, a pelvic exam, and an ultrasound and there is no reason to believe I’ve had a rupture. (A Fern Test involves smearing the discharge on a slide and viewing it through a microscope. If amniotic fluid is present, it will crystallize into a fern pattern.) Not only were there no indications of a leak, my cervix is looking nice and long. I know, I know, I really should give you some warning.
Here’s a picture of Frax from today – still the cutest fetus ever!
On Thursday afternoon, I realized that for the last two days I had had an increase in vaginal discharge. (I know, you should really get a warning before words like “vaginal” and “discharge” are thrown out, especially when they are used together. My apologies.) Of course, I did a Google search on “increased vaginal discharge” and a litany of horrors was revealed, the scariest for me was a possible amniotic fluid leak. Nearly everything I read said that an increase was cause to telephone your doctor. So I telephoned my doctor.
Nurse Arlene called me back at the very end of the day and she was about as warm and comforting as a cactus. The end result of our conversation was that there were no doctors in the office and I should go to the hospital emergency room to make certain I wasn’t leaking amniotic fluid.
Hospital emergency rooms are not fun places, especially when everyone in them looks like they are knocking on death’s door, so much so that you are afraid to pick up a magazine because you really don’t know who might have touched that magazine. And it certainly doesn’t help one’s nerves when the television is turned to some sort of scary ass movie about someone being murdered in a swimming pool, aliens and tracking devices. What about some Golden Girls, or Wheel of Fortune?
I checked into emergency at about 5 p.m. and left just before 10:30 p.m. with no real answers. They did a pelvic exam, swabbed me six ways from Sunday, and even catheterized me and took a urine sample. Ow ow ow ow! I had no discernable infections, my cervix appeared closed, and a Nitrazine Test was negative for amniotic fluid. (A Nitrazine Test involves collecting vaginal discharge with a swab and placing it on a peace of litmus paper to check the Ph. Typical discharge is acidic, whereas amniotic fluid is alkaline.) I was discharged from emergency and told to follow up with my obstetrician in 1-2 days.
I left emergency still very concerned and, as instructed, contacted my doctor’s office the next day. Again, Nurse Arlene returned my call and was just as prickly and condescending as ever. She arranged for me to see one of the doctors on Monday (today) and instructed me to spend the weekend off my feet. For me, this translated into laying on my couch sobbing. Sorry J.
I don’t know what it’s like to lose a baby, and I hope I never do, but I now know what it’s like to think you’re going to lose your baby and it is not a good thing. No amount of assurance helps. You worry. A lot. There is no way not to worry, well, getting pissed off Ed Hochuli for being an incompetent ass does take your mind off of things a bit.
(Here I will quickly note how one can skew web search results, because after this weekend, I have a lot of experience with it. If you search “increased vaginal discharge” and “cramping,” there are some rather reassuring entries that talk about these symptoms being a normal part of pregnancy. If you search “amniotic fluid leak,” “increased discharge,” and “cramping,” you’ll come across some very sad and disconcerting stories.)
I am very happy to report that my worrying was needless. I saw a doctor today who performed a Fern Test, a pelvic exam, and an ultrasound and there is no reason to believe I’ve had a rupture. (A Fern Test involves smearing the discharge on a slide and viewing it through a microscope. If amniotic fluid is present, it will crystallize into a fern pattern.) Not only were there no indications of a leak, my cervix is looking nice and long. I know, I know, I really should give you some warning.
Here’s a picture of Frax from today – still the cutest fetus ever!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The Art of Critical Thinking
Me: So, what do you think it is, a boy or a girl?
J: I don't know.
Me: What do you want it to be?
J: I don't care.
Me: You used to say girl? Do you want a girl?
J: Sure, I guess . . . though statistics do show that it is generally less expensive to raise a boy.
J: I don't know.
Me: What do you want it to be?
J: I don't care.
Me: You used to say girl? Do you want a girl?
J: Sure, I guess . . . though statistics do show that it is generally less expensive to raise a boy.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Equality for All
On Sunday, a family from the same housing development came by my house to talk to me about California Proposition 8. I don’t have all the Proposition numbers down quite yet and told him I wasn’t familiar with it, which gave him a perfect entry into telling me how it was designed to protect marriage and so on. Proposition 8 would amend the California Constitution to specify that marriage is between a man and woman.
After arguing his position and handing me some literature, he asked me how I thought I would vote. I really wanted to give him a good lecture on how ugly intolerance is, but I just told him I didn’t give out that information, thanked him for stopping by and sent him on his way.
I know I wouldn’t have swayed his opinion, someone that feels so strongly about something they are going door to door to talk about it with neighbors wasn’t going to give a flying, well, you know what about my arguments, but I still felt bad that I didn’t speak up about how much I disagreed with his position and why. In a small attempt to make amends for my silence – for not sticking up for the position I know to be the just one – I made a monetary contribution to the Vote No on Prop 8 campaign. Considering there are people like this family going door to door, I’m sure they can use all the help they can get and I would encourage you to contribute if you can.
After arguing his position and handing me some literature, he asked me how I thought I would vote. I really wanted to give him a good lecture on how ugly intolerance is, but I just told him I didn’t give out that information, thanked him for stopping by and sent him on his way.
I know I wouldn’t have swayed his opinion, someone that feels so strongly about something they are going door to door to talk about it with neighbors wasn’t going to give a flying, well, you know what about my arguments, but I still felt bad that I didn’t speak up about how much I disagreed with his position and why. In a small attempt to make amends for my silence – for not sticking up for the position I know to be the just one – I made a monetary contribution to the Vote No on Prop 8 campaign. Considering there are people like this family going door to door, I’m sure they can use all the help they can get and I would encourage you to contribute if you can.
What? No Ultrasound?
I had a doctors appointment today, my 15 week appointment. I’ve had an ultrasound at every appointment thus far and was really hoping for another today, nothing beats getting to see sweet little Peanut, Jr., so I was a bit disappointed when the nurse put me in a room without an ultrasound machine. Oh well, it’s not like I haven’t had more than my fair share.
Today’s appointment consisted of my doctor asking how I was doing, me saying fine, and a brief listening of the fetal heartbeat. I wonder how much he gets to bill for this?
Though I would have enjoyed seeing the baby, it was nice to hear its heart beat for the first time (well, not the part where the doctor couldn’t find it, but after that). Its heart rate was at 155, which is perfectly normal. There was even a brief little sound which the doctor said was a kick. How cute! Cutest fetus ever, right?!
There’s an old wives’ tale that a heart rate over 140 indicates it’s a girl. Science doesn’t really back this up, but my sister says Natalie was over 140 and Nicholas under. I’ve repeatedly referred to Frax as a he, but I haven’t been as good at this gender guessing thing as I used to be.
My next appointment is with the genetics department for an anatomy scan on October 2. This ultrasound should, knock on wood, reveal the sex. The notes in my expectant mother folder for the anatomy scan tell me to bring a VHS tape if I’d like a video of the ultrasound. Do they still sell VHS tapes?
On the same day as the anatomy scan, I will have blood drawn for an AFP Screening for Spinal Bifida. I made the mistake of reading about Spinal Bifida today after scheduling the appointment. Ugh, there really are way too many things an expectant mom can worry about.
Today’s appointment consisted of my doctor asking how I was doing, me saying fine, and a brief listening of the fetal heartbeat. I wonder how much he gets to bill for this?
Though I would have enjoyed seeing the baby, it was nice to hear its heart beat for the first time (well, not the part where the doctor couldn’t find it, but after that). Its heart rate was at 155, which is perfectly normal. There was even a brief little sound which the doctor said was a kick. How cute! Cutest fetus ever, right?!
There’s an old wives’ tale that a heart rate over 140 indicates it’s a girl. Science doesn’t really back this up, but my sister says Natalie was over 140 and Nicholas under. I’ve repeatedly referred to Frax as a he, but I haven’t been as good at this gender guessing thing as I used to be.
My next appointment is with the genetics department for an anatomy scan on October 2. This ultrasound should, knock on wood, reveal the sex. The notes in my expectant mother folder for the anatomy scan tell me to bring a VHS tape if I’d like a video of the ultrasound. Do they still sell VHS tapes?
On the same day as the anatomy scan, I will have blood drawn for an AFP Screening for Spinal Bifida. I made the mistake of reading about Spinal Bifida today after scheduling the appointment. Ugh, there really are way too many things an expectant mom can worry about.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
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