Friday, November 21, 2008
How To Make Your Husband "Uninterested" in You
Tell him you sent a picture of yourself to his Mom so she could see your pregnancy belly, and that she wrote back and wants to know if he can see how much you resemble his sister in the picture.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
When Your Parents' Dog and Your Fetus Have the Same Name
Poor puppy Max bit into an electrical wire yesterday, was electrocuted, suffered pulmonary edema and almost died. Fortunately, he pulled through after 24 hours at the vet hospital on oxygen. We found out this morning that he's doing much better. He's home now and seems to be doing ok.
Last night, I called J at work close to tears and said, "Max might die." Needless to say, J was a bit freaked out. Poor J.
Last night, I called J at work close to tears and said, "Max might die." Needless to say, J was a bit freaked out. Poor J.
Friday, November 07, 2008
He looks perfect and let me tell you why ...
I had a routine appointment with my obstetrician on Tuesday. He did a quick ultrasound and there is still a baby inside me. Yay! While I am feeling Max move at this point, it’s not with any regularity and, as a new time mom-to-be, I start questioning whether what I’m feeling is really movement. It was nice to see a heartbeat on the monitor.
Rain in San Diego is, sadly, very rare. While I love the rainy weather, I have to admit it wreaks havoc on the streets and freeways here. I was about 5 minutes late for my appointment. My doctor was about 40 minutes late. When he walked into the exam room, he immediately apologized and explained he’d been busy counting the white dots he was slowly driving by on the freeway. When he said this, I blurted out, “Oh, on the 56!” He looked at little perplexed at how I might know that, but admitted that yes it was the 56. To which I mumbled something about how I sit in the 56 traffic every day, it’s always bad. Which IS true.
But, ok, how did I know he meant the 56? Uhh, well, that’s because I looked up his medical license with the state medical board and he listed it under his home address. Come on, you can’t fight that kind of temptation. Of course I Google Mapped it and looked at the aerial photos of his house. Admit it, you would have done the same thing. Everyone wants to know just how grand a style their doctor lives in.
Despite being 40 minutes late with 28 appointments that day, and probably thinking I was a stalker, my doctor very kindly spent some time pointing out different things on the ultrasound monitor and telling me everything looked perfect and why he knew everything looked perfect. Something about the heart and the chamber and the fluid around it and the amniotic fluid. Sorry for the hazy science details, but when you’re looking at your baby, and wondering if your doctor is going to change his locks that night, it’s hard to concentrate on much else.
Rain in San Diego is, sadly, very rare. While I love the rainy weather, I have to admit it wreaks havoc on the streets and freeways here. I was about 5 minutes late for my appointment. My doctor was about 40 minutes late. When he walked into the exam room, he immediately apologized and explained he’d been busy counting the white dots he was slowly driving by on the freeway. When he said this, I blurted out, “Oh, on the 56!” He looked at little perplexed at how I might know that, but admitted that yes it was the 56. To which I mumbled something about how I sit in the 56 traffic every day, it’s always bad. Which IS true.
But, ok, how did I know he meant the 56? Uhh, well, that’s because I looked up his medical license with the state medical board and he listed it under his home address. Come on, you can’t fight that kind of temptation. Of course I Google Mapped it and looked at the aerial photos of his house. Admit it, you would have done the same thing. Everyone wants to know just how grand a style their doctor lives in.
Despite being 40 minutes late with 28 appointments that day, and probably thinking I was a stalker, my doctor very kindly spent some time pointing out different things on the ultrasound monitor and telling me everything looked perfect and why he knew everything looked perfect. Something about the heart and the chamber and the fluid around it and the amniotic fluid. Sorry for the hazy science details, but when you’re looking at your baby, and wondering if your doctor is going to change his locks that night, it’s hard to concentrate on much else.
Monday, November 03, 2008
They Really Do Laugh at You
When I was in high school, I would sometimes wonder if teachers would talk about students outside of class, if they would share gossip and humiliating stories. Back then, I gave my teachers almost priest like characteristics. Surely it was all kept in confidence. WRONG! They are talking about you (or they did), most of the time with much laughter!
I spent an enjoyable afternoon yesterday at my friend Amy's house and after the kid birthday party fun had died down, a few of us adults, some high school teachers, sat around talking about the upcoming election. We expectedly got onto the topic of Prop 8, but then somehow wandered our way around to high school sex education classes and some of the funnier sexual queries of the high school Sophomore. One thing no one in the room seemed to know any better than these students was the nutritional content of semen.
As I said I would, I did a bit of research this afternoon on the topic. There are a few contradicting answers out there. One site says a tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories, another that a teaspoon of has 5-7 calories. The general consensus is that the caloric value is very low, with next to no fat. As to the Weight Watcher point value, I'd advise one to consider it 0 points, unless copious amounts are being consumed. There are those hard core Weight Watchers, however, that believe that no non-vegetable food is 0 points. In which case, I would recommend journaling it as .5 points.
I spent an enjoyable afternoon yesterday at my friend Amy's house and after the kid birthday party fun had died down, a few of us adults, some high school teachers, sat around talking about the upcoming election. We expectedly got onto the topic of Prop 8, but then somehow wandered our way around to high school sex education classes and some of the funnier sexual queries of the high school Sophomore. One thing no one in the room seemed to know any better than these students was the nutritional content of semen.
As I said I would, I did a bit of research this afternoon on the topic. There are a few contradicting answers out there. One site says a tablespoon of semen contains approximately six calories, another that a teaspoon of has 5-7 calories. The general consensus is that the caloric value is very low, with next to no fat. As to the Weight Watcher point value, I'd advise one to consider it 0 points, unless copious amounts are being consumed. There are those hard core Weight Watchers, however, that believe that no non-vegetable food is 0 points. In which case, I would recommend journaling it as .5 points.
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